A #Blackwildgirl Reflection for Father’s Day Weekend
In my new book, “Blackwildgirl: A Writer’s Journey to Take Back Her Superpower,” I share a letter my father wrote to me in January 1996, nine months before he died at the age of 60 from the trauma and disease of America’s hate of Black brilliance and racism. It was written in a confusing combination of capital letters and lowercase letters, as he recovered from a massive stroke. I share it, in part, this Father’s Day weekend:
“Dear MENAH,
You do not know what PREOCCUPATION WITH SUCCESS FOR YOUR BLACK CHILDREN in this country means. It was a 24hrs job—NO SLEEP—LYING IN BED OR NOT.
I DO NOT HATE YOU BUT I FEEL DEEPLY BETRAYED—maybe I had been living a LIE (WITH ALL THIS HARD WORK AND PREMATURE GREY) about FAMILY and FAMILY MATTERS within the PRATT SET-UP.
…
THERE ARE NONE OF THOSE NICETIES as I love you. THE FACT IS—YOUR BIOLOGICAL FATHER.”
He signed it with his initials: TAECP
My father’s name was Theodore Allantantu Emmanuel Cyril Pratt. He was born in Freetown, Sierra Leone. He came to America to further his education, after studying in Freetown and in England. After he delivered the commencement address at Hampton University where he received his BA in physics, he went to Pittsburgh to study nuclear physics at Carnegie Mellon Institute. Graduating with his master’s degree and doctorate degree in 1968, he began a tenure-track position at Illinois State University. Three years into his contract, while he was on research leave with our family in Brazil, the university terminated his contract because of their hatred of Black brilliance. Dr. TAECP never taught again, never wrote another physics research article, and never entered a classroom again. Instead, he became the mastermind and architect of the “Pratt Set-Up,” a scientific plan for Black children (my brother, Awadagin and me) to achieve success in 1970s racist and barely desegregated America. It was a focus on classical piano lessons, violin lessons, and tennis lessons with him as our tennis coach.
Tennis notes from my father
The Pratt Set-Up is reflected in this note that my father gave to me as my tennis coach. He believe in assigning sentences as punishment and/or motivation. His note read: “It is absolutely imperative that I do my very best to have a meteoric rise to the top.”
My father’s handwritten note about excellence.
To my father, “I love you” was a nicety. Excellence was a necessity.
In Blackwildgirl , I write: “As Blackwildwoman, I spent many years hoping that if I excelled, I would feel loved. Only later, much later, I learned that there is no correlation between love and excellence, unless one can love and be loved excellently.” (page 88).
My father never said, “I love you” to me. In Blackwildgirl, I write about my search to hear “I love you.” I write about the impact of America’s racism that often precludes and prevents love from flourishing.
On this Father’s Day weekend, I wish all for all children and fathers to “love and be loved excellently.”
My father, Valentine’s Day, 8 months before he died in 1996, age 60.
My father around 1970s, after getting his PhD from Carnegie Mellon Institute.
Get your copy of Blackwildgirl: A Writer’s Journey to Take Back Her Superpower and Companion Journal, Finding Your Superpower at Amazon, Bookshop, Barnes and Noble, IBooks, and wherever books are sold. Blackwildgirl is based on 45 years of journals and chronicles my twelve-stage initiation journey from Black girlhood to Black womanhood in America and the African Diaspora.
Book talk and reading in Exuma Bahamas
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Are you a father? Want to learn more about how difficult it is to be a woman and girl, especially a woman/girl of color? Want to invest in your relationship with your daughter? Buy Blackwildgirl and the Companion Journal for yourself!
